Our City is doing well, even with Sue away on jury duty.  And Dave got to wing it as finemaster.
Notes from the April 6 meeting of
The Rotary Club of Clover Park
Recorded by Tom McClellan
Georgene Mellom and Tom Faubion served on greeter duty.  Mike Killen and David Cotant were on meeting setup duty.  And Sue Potter was away on jury duty. 
Jeannie Hill opened the meeting with 3 inspirational thoughts:
1. Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. - - - Salvador Dali
2. There is no normal life that is free of pain. It's the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.  - - - Fred Rogers
3. When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." - - - also from Fred Rogers
Guests at this week’s meeting included Jay Moore, of Redmond Realty, a friend of Marie Barth; our guest speaker John Caulfield, the City Manager of Lakewood; and Caulfield’s trusty sidekick Jim Kopriva, to make sure that the PowerPoint all ran properly. 
Future Programs
April 13    CPRI Rehearsal    
April 20    Hanford McCloud, Nisqually Tribal Council Member
April 27    Lindsay Hotchkiss, Pierce Co. Aging and Disability Resource Center
CPRI Preparation
Things are shaping up for the Clover Park Rotary Invitational (CPRI) on April 29, but there is still more work to do.  We have about 60 of the 100 spots on the board sold, so please get your friends, families, neighbors, and pets to buy a square.  We are still light on the board prizes and silent auction items, so please get those in to Alan Billingsley by next week’s (April 13) meeting. 
President’s Minute
Happy Birthday (April 9) Paul Harris! How is it possible that General Ed Trobaugh has never fined him?
District 5020 is still accepting donations for Ukraine relief.  And the District Conference in Victoria is coming up May 13-14.  Signups for both on the District web site, https://www.rotary5020.org/district-conference-and-learning-2022/.
Don’t forget to save the date for our Rotary Club work party at the South Puget Sound Wildlife Area, May 7, 0900-1300.
Fun And Fines
With Ed Trobaugh away, the task of running this segment of the meeting fell to David Cotant, with a reported 2 minutes notice.  David smartly opened it up to $5 confessions.
Teresa Nye started out by revealing that she went on a Pacific Northwest Porsche rally tour, ranging from North Bend all the way to Camano Island.  Did you know Porsches can be quite exciting to ride in?  And how many of you know that the name Porsche has 2 syllables?
Sheri Hodson is happy that her daughter Melanie is up visiting from California.
Finemaster Dave Cotant covered the fee for a confession from our Carr’s server Scott, who was happy to be celebrating the birth of twin granddaughters just one hour before the meeting.  Scott’s daughter already had 2 sons, and was hoping for a daughter just for variety.  She may have hoped a little too hard. 
Gretchen Allen offered up the standard $50 max for what she termed a “monumental birthday”. 
Tom McClellan shared 2 confessions.  First, he has been spending weekends for the past year cutting up excess wood that was left over from a logging of his timber property, and is now getting started with splitting all of that wood.  If anyone needs some firewood, Tom can hook you up. 
Second, Tom’s son Daniel (who once served as an intern for Heidi Wachter because he thought he wanted to go to law school, and found out that he didn’t) is about to finish his 4-year residency in Emergency Medicine, and will move away from the severe Midwest winters to the sunnier climes of Southern California.  He will be doing a 2-year fellowship in critical care at Loma Linda, after which Daniel will be dual qualified.  But his residency has been interrupted for a stint on jury duty (not the same one as Sue Potter).  On a day when he was about to be empaneled on a jury, the proceeding was suddenly halted when one of the lawyers suffered a seizure.  Dan leapt into action, and stated that he was glad to not be the only medical professional in the jury pool.  Thankfully the lawyer was okay, but the proceeding was obviously postponed.  Heidi may have lost a future lawyer protégé, but the legal profession gained a save. 
Hallie McCurdy reported that her son celebrated his 21st birthday on St. Patrick’s Day, and the family wanted to celebrate big.  So they all signed up to travel with Hallie’s son wherever he wanted to go, which turned out to be Auburn, Alabama (War Eagle!!) to visit his girlfriend. 
This Week’s Program
City Manager John Caulfield is an old friend of the club, and a Lakewood Rotary Club member who did confide that our club really is “the fun club”.  Nobody tell anyone that he said that, okay?
Lakewood has responded well to Covid, and now we get to plan for post-Covid.  The City’s finances are very strong, the best financial condition of the past 2 decades.  This comes from the City not extending itself.  The City did not have to do any personnel cuts under Covid’s reduced revenues.  Inflation is a worry for finances. 
Deurbanization means more people and businesses moving to places like Lakewood.  Our mission is to take advantage of that.
The City got $13.7 million in ARPA funding from the federal government, which got allocated to programs for homelessness, youth, food assistance, and mental health. 
In the North Clear Zone, the City worked with local partners to get Tactical Tailor moved out to a different site.
Crime is down 50% since incorporation in 1996, but is up the last 2 years due to a change in State laws about policing.  The uptick has been in property crimes, and chases which the police cannot go after.  It is hard to jail offenders on minor crimes.  Lakewood is the first city with a Behavioral Health Contact Team.  A law change means implementing body cameras on all officers, in addition to the dash cameras in vehicles.  The bodycams are being piloted now, and will be on all officers by the end of 2022.  
Lakewood is doing better at attracting police officer recruits and transfers, due to the better command climate. 
New construction is up a lot in 2020 and 2021.  Aero Precision is moving to the industrial park, bringing 800 jobs.  The Woodbrook Business Park is growing rapidly. 
The City is trying to figure a way to get a “central park” in the Towne Center area.
The City Council is prioritizing new housing, working with the South Sound Housing Affordability Partners (SSHAP) to address housing access.  Lots of road construction is coming next year. 
Parks and Recreation activities are a big focus.  Summerfest is coming July 9.  Farmers Market is back.  More recreation events are coming.  May 9 will be the first Saturday Streets Festival in the Colonial Center.  The Senior Center is reopening. 
There have been 31 park improvements over the last 2 years totaling $18 million.  14 more are coming, totaling $6.3 million this year. 
Sign up for the weekly newsletter at www.cityoflakewood.us/communications.
Raffle: With $315 in the pot, 36 cards in the deck of which 2 are aces, Sheri Hodson had the winning ticket, but no luck drawing. 
And Finally… If it moves…
Army Version:
If it moves, salute it. 
If it doesn’t move, paint it.
Mechanical Engineer Version:
If it moves: torque it down harder, duct tape it, bungee cord it, ratchet strap it, SuperGlue it.
If it doesn’t move: Use WD-40, or a bigger hammer.
Civil Engineer Version:
If it moves, dam it (dammit). 
If it doesn’t move, calculate its mass as a static load.
Cat Version:
If it moves, bap it with your paw.
If it doesn’t move, nuzzle it.
Dog Version:
If it moves, grab it with your mouth, bring it back and drop it at a human’s feet, then bark for more action.
If it doesn’t move, sniff it first, then roll in it.  
Congressional Version:
If it moves, tax it. 
If it doesn’t move, offer stimulus to get it to move, but then add regulations sufficient to make sure that it still doesn’t move.  Then blame the other party.
Gastroenterologist Version:
{deleted, we do not discuss such things at the dinner table}
Fighter Pilot Version:
If it moves, shoot it down, and sort it all out on the ground. 
If it doesn’t move, buzz by it in under 2 seconds. 
Adrenaline Junkie Version:
If it moves, ride it. 
If it doesn’t move, climb it, and/or skydive off of it. 
Scientist Version:
If it moves, it’s biology.
If it doesn’t move, it’s geology. 
Golf Version:
If it moves, you cannot hit it again until it stops moving.
If it cannot move, get a ruling that it is unplayable, take a drop and a penalty stroke, then hit it.  Then hit it again because you did not clear the obstacle.  Then swear several times, throw bag of clubs into the water hazard, and storm off.  Then retrieve bag of clubs from the water hazard, find car keys, and return bag into the water hazard.   
Quantum Physicist Version:
If it moves, then it will perceive time as passing more slowly, so that light still appears to travel at the same speed.
If you think it does not move, then check your spatial reference system.  Everything moves.
Need A New Battery Version
If it moos, it’s a danged cow of course. 
Eh, what?  You said “moves”?