Things Every Rotarian Should Know.


President Sheri took a mighty swing of the gavel nd did not miss, successfully ringing in the 2nd meeting of the new calendar year, welcoming a full room of Rotarians.  Bob Lawrence served as greeter, and Karen Fengler-Nichols took notes on all of the juicy events. 

Randy Black served as invocateur, and notably (for a water guy) he did not pray for rain.  That's a good sign for us all.  Fred Willis led us in the pledge to our flag. 

Georgene Mellom welcomed our visiting Rotarians, including Del Livingston from the Parkland-Spanaway club, and Assistant District Governor Greg Horn from the Lakewood Rotary Club. 

Big Announcements

Bonnie Boyle skipped over a review of our attendance numbers, and instead reminded everyone that we all need to get our correct birth dates to her for updating in Clubrunner.  The District 5020 honchos have been marveling at our club's apparent average age of less than 35 years, which is a function of some less-than-accurate listings of birth years.  None of our club's leadership has ever thought that this was a problem worth fixing, but the fussy district honchos have different ideas. 

Bonnie also announced that the Habitat For Humanity luncheon will be on Tuesday, March 3, 1130-1300 at the Murano Hotel in downtown Tacoma.  Last year we had a couple of Rotary tables, and it would be a great cause to make a showing for again this year.  The lunch is "free", but donations are expected.  If you are able to attend, please notify Bonnie who will coordinate RSVPs from our club. 

Marilee Johnson reminded everyone about the memorial service on Thursday for Sue Potter's father at the University Place Presbyterian Church. 

The Rotary Fireside event on Thursday is at Marie and Bruce Barth's house.  Everyone is welcome.  If you have not previously RSVP'd, please contact Marie ASAP at marie@mariebarth.com or at (253) 677-3874.

ADG Greg Horn took the microphone to announce that our club had been granted some big unnamed award, but he did not actually bring the award with him.  He then threw his own wife under the bus for having supposedly reorganized his desk, thereby mislaying our club's award.  He offered a promise to deliver the still unnamed award at some unspecified future club meeting. 

Greg Horn also related the news that longtime Lakewood Rotary Member Joanne Crane had passed away.  She was the former owner of the flower shop Crane's Creations. 

President Sheri announced the upcoming meeting of our club's board on Friday, January 16 at 0730 at Carr's, and noted that all are welcome to attend.  Sheri also mentioned the March 5 Rotary Spaghetti Feed at Southgate Elementary School, as part of our adopted school's Literacy Night. 

Heidi Wachter reminded all of us about the upcoming base realignment and reduction "listening tour" meeting on Jan. 21, 1000-1200 at the McGavick Center.  Evidently the support of the community for the local base/post is a big factor in the decisions about where in the country to cut forces, and there is the potential for thousands of active duty and civilian cuts at JBLM.  So turnout at the meeting is important in order to show that our community cares about both military readiness and the maintenance of forces in the Pacific Northwest. 

Two Truths And A Lie

Jim Hairston was this week's contestant.  He related that (1) He once met famous quarterback Joe Montana while Montana was a senior at Notre Dame.  (2) During a trip to Minnesota, he was subjected to a personal search because it turned out that the hotel where Jim was staying was hosting a party of the Vice President.  (3) On Day 3 of helicopter flight training at Fort Rucker, his instructor pilot instructed Jim to take the controls, at which time the IP suddenly retarded the throttle and announced "simulated engine failure", forcing Jim to land the helicopter under zero engine power.

Of these, #2 turned out to be the fib.  It was not the Vice President, but rather the actual POTUS in that hotel in Minnesota.  But given the size of the mosquitoes which inhabit that state during the summertime, it is rather dubious that either Jim or the president would intentionally visit, so we are not sure about the legitimacy of the whole story. 

Fun And Fines

Finemaster Ed Trobaugh had quite a bit of business on this day.  Rick Ring and his bride had just celebrated their 26th (?) anniversary.  Rick seemed unsure at first about the number, but then firmed up in his assurance about it. 

Ed tried to re-fine Ellie and Chris Carr over their 7th wedding anniversary, but Ellie pointed out that she had already covered this event with deputy finemaster Heidi Wachter last week, a point that Heidi failed to relate to General Ed [ed. note: even though it was covered here in the eBulletin, which should have been sufficient, if members would only read it].  Heidi conceded her own negligence, and offered to match the Carrs' fine, with a "Wachter" of course. 

Ed called upon ADG Greg Horn for having committed the offense of announcing an unnamed award but failing to bring it.  Greg slyly offered up as a proposed fine payment the entire cash contents of his wallet, which he had believed to be completely devoid of specie, and Greg handed that very wallet across the table to Bryan Christensen for verification.  But Bryan found the secret compartment of that same wallet which contained a hitherto unknown (to Greg) $40, to the amusement of all present.  Word to the wise: don't hand your wallet to Bryan Christensen, unless you are very sure of what is in there.  In the end, it turned out that Greg was belatedly proven correct about the eventual contents of his wallet. 

Tom Faubion offered a photographic "rat on a Rotarian", indicting Marie Barth for having appeared on the cover of the periodical "Top Agent" for her exploits as a realtor.  Marie offered no defense, and meekly offered up the magnanimous sum of $100 toward the Rotary Foundation, to the applause and grateful assent of the multitude which was gathered.

Ed then reached back over a full year to pull up a fineworthy offense committed by Karl Roth, who secretly earned his master's degree in leadership without telling anyone.  Karl furthermore, it was learned, has been teaching college students in the very same topic thanks to that master's degree.  Karl also offered up $100 to his Paul Harris.

Ed started scraping the bottom of the fines barrel, pointing out that Fred and Ingrid Willis had celebrated their 57th anniversary, which Ed rounded up to $60 because Fred had forgotten to sign in.

And just as Ed was thinking that his mission was complete, Tom McClellan stood up to share with club members the most recent issue of the "Prairie Gazette" which is the official publication of the Lakewood Historical Society.  In that latest issue, there was a FULL COLOR picture of Pam Trobaugh.  And in that selfsame FULL COLOR picture of Pam was also the image of Ed Trobaugh.  An additional FULL COLOR picture of Bill Harrison was also featured in that very issue. 

Ed assessed Tom with doubled fines of $2 each for having ratted on both Ed and Bill, and added an additional $10 for having ratted on Pam Trobaugh, the justification for which was not offered.  Neither was the amount of Ed's fine recorded, because just as this issue was in the process of being settled, Bill Harrison tried to offer a $5 confession.  Bill's offer was accepted, at which time Bill revealed that he had just purchased a new condominium.  Upon further exploration, it was revealed that Marie Barth had served as realtor, Teresa Nye had served as mortgage agent, and Sheri Hodson had insured the new dwelling.  So a $5 confession was ramped up 6-fold as each paid $20 for their part in the conspiracy. 

Today's Program

In honor of Rotary Awareness Month, Tom McClellan gave a presentation on Things Every Rotarian Ought To Know. It was adapted (and shortened) from a paper titled "50 Things Every Rotarian Should Know About Rotary", written in 1994 by one-time district governor Steve Garret of the Pico Rivera, California Rotary Club.  For the sake of fitting it into the allotted 30 minutes, that long list was necessarily shortened.


Marie Barth had her ticket drawn, but despite 1 in 8 odds she failed to draw the Ace.  So the pot gets bigger and the odds get better.  But remember that you must be present to win.  So come next week.