Starting off the new year right, and on time.  With an extra lawyer in the house (who was allowed to stand up).
Meeting Notes recorded by Sheri Hodson
Edited by Tom McClellan
Joy Taylor welcomed everyone who arrived for the meeting. President Jim Hairston called the meeting to order at exactly 1230. 
Invocation: Alice Peeples.  Flag Salute:  Randy Black
Visiting Rotarians – Gayle Selden – Lakewood, Mark Lindquist – Tacoma 8
Visitors: Joy Taylor – her son James Taylor,  Tom McClellan introduced newest Red Badger Stephanie Walsh, and Mark Lindquist’s Public Relations manager James Lynch, who previously was a news anchor on the Seattle Fox affiliate Q13, and Alice introduced her friend, Bill Kerry.
Sunshine report:  Nothing to report
Club Announcements:   
Future Programs
January 11 – Sandra Campbell – Tacoma Area Literacy
January 18 – Don Sosnowski – Invista Performance Solutions
January 25 – Debbie LeBeau – Clover Park School District Update
Stephanie Walsh received her Red Badge from sponsor Tom McClellan.
She is a former Lakewood Rotarian. She has been married for almost 25 years. She enjoys working as Executive Director at Lakewold Gardens for the past 17 years. Avid softball player, so if you see bruises in the summer it means she has had some good competition. She and her husband were foster parents and after 22 years she has reconnected with their first foster child, Brian. He is doing well and is the father of 3. Gayle Selden is one of her best friends, courtesy of a Rotary relationship, and that’s why Gayle joined us for a second time in the last few months to support her friend.
Joy Taylor presented Heidi Wachter with her Paul Harris plus one pin. Heidi had not realized she had paid so much in “Wachters”
January is Rotary’s Vocational Service Month. Jim shared a few slides on what this means.
Tom McClellan sent around a sign-up for the next few months for note takers. There is still room for more people to sign up so please let Tom know. He does the editing and adds the wit. [ed. note: usually the jokes are self-evident and write themselves, so it’s not like it is that hard.]
Alice Peeples said to let her know if you would like to be in the rotation for Invocations.
Remember with a club of our size, we really need everyone to help out in the meetings (set up, greeters, invocation, note taker, finemaster, program speakers, and raffle) as well as our fundraisers and community service. So if you are not signed up as a meeting helper, please let Jim or the person in charge of that responsibility know of your interest. In most areas, it is a once a month commitment.  Contact Tom McClellan to help with note-taking, Alice Peeples to serve doing meeting invocations, and Jeannie Hill to serve as a greeter.
Sheri Hodson shared pictures of the Rotary Rose Parade float our club helped to sponsor, and which received the Princess Award. It was a beautiful float celebrating Rotary’s 100 years of service in this way.
Fun and Fines:   
Stephanie Walsh assisted General Ed as the newest Red Badger.
It started with a raffle of Jim Hairston’s tickets that General Ed “found” on a stack of Jim’s belongings. Charlie Maxwell bought them for $6.
Rick Ring celebrated his 26 years of marriage to Julie, but forgot to share that good news with General Ed. He also forgot he bought a new car, a Chevy Volt. Good thing Teresa Nye was prepared to “rat” on him. $100 Wachter for both items to go towards his Paul Harris.
Marie Barth took care of her $50 Wachter for her 5 home-sale closings in a week right before Christmas.  Sheri Hodson carried hers over.
General Ed recapped last week’s Army win and all of the people who paid for the Army win (General Ed, Tom McClellan, our guest speaker Mike Court, and Bob Lawrence (even though he is Air Force, but Bob noted Air Force had beaten both teams).  Note taker Joyce Loveday and editor Tom McClellan were each fined $5 for leaving our guest speaker out of last week’s notes.  [ed. note: The duties of editor imply considerable latitude concerning content, what is suitable, what is appropriate.  If anyone sees a problem with the editorial decisions, there is room at the top for another to take over as editor.  It sounds like General Ed may be angling for that job.]
Joy Taylor paid $5 as an early leaver.
Tom Faubion found out there is more than one Smithsonian museum, when he spent 5 nights in Washington, DC on his trip.  Tom reported that the weather was very cold as he wandered among the several musea, at which point someone revealed that he could have chosen to go inside one or more.  He generously paid $50 for the 5 nights, twice the going rate of $5 per night.
Randy Black “found” a woman’s shoe and wondered, whose could it be? Cinderella, AKA Heidi Wachter, came to try it on to see if the stylish shoe fit and it did!! It turns out she and Marie Barth are the same size, and when Marie cleans out her closet, Heidi is the happy recipient.
Tom McClellan, acting on reliable information, asked a number of members whether they had hosted a New Year’s Eve party that didn’t include any Rotarians. He passed around a picture that appeared to be General Ed celebrating New Year’s Eve and not including the rest of us. General Ed asserted that he was in bed by 9:00 and that it was not him in the picture.  Following that denial, several eyebrows went up as that photo was passed around. In the end, no fine was levied, and it appeared that none of our Rotarians did not host a party and most were in bed pretty early, except for Teresa Nye who shared she did enjoy a night on the town.
Today’s speaker: Prosecuting Attorney Mark Lindquist
Mark shared many topics his office is handling and answered several questions. His communications director, James Lynch, handed out a flier on “red flags of elder abuse”, what it looks like, and what you can do. Pierce County’s prosecuting attorney’s office was one of nine offices to receive a special grant to educate the public on how to identify and prevent Elder Abuse. Let Mark’s office know if there is a group they can talk to, assisted living facility, senior center, civic organizations, etc.
They are also focusing High Priority Offenders – small percentage of criminals repeat multiple crimes. He explained even though we are a 3 strike state, it has to be serious offenses to count in the 3 strikes. So currently there are people with 15-20 prior felonies and his office is working to get them longer sentences.
They are working with Pierce County since it was successful in Tacoma on Burglary Reduction. Tacoma saw a 20% reduction.
Other areas of focus include Family support for dead beat parents and civil representation for elected officials. Discussion of nuisance lawsuits, self-defense for homeowners and imminent danger and the Castle Doctrine, and much more.
Raffle Drawing:  Lakewood Rotarian, Gayle Selden had the lucky number but not the lucky card. She received her $5 back. Raffle was at $248.
And Finally...
In honor of our guest speaker, and his courtroom activities,the following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.  Source:$jgRx+O:iL_TjXuG/
There are more, but these are the best:
Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
Witness: "No. This is how I dress when I go to work."
Lawyer: "The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas."
Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
Lawyer: "Did you blow your horn or anything?"
Witness: "After the accident?"
Lawyer: "Before the accident."
Witness: "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Are you married?"
Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."