A wedding quandary not involving a shotgun.  And a laughing cow doing Tai Chi.
Meeting Notes from February 1st
Recorded by Teresa Nye
Edited by Tom McClellan
President James Hairston rang the meeting to order just a few seconds after 1230 (Verizon time), although there were no punctuality-obsessed members present to offer an observation about that start time. 
Invocation - Dave Cotant.  Pledge - Teresa Nye
Honored guests - Kelly Ingalls, our speaker for the day.  Cheryl Bracken - Weichert Realtors.  Joe Jones from Yard Perfect
Future Programs
Feb. 8 – Patti Agard, Girl Scouts of Western Washington
Feb. 15 - Ann Warman – Using Social Media In Your Business, plus getting excited for DLTA
Feb. 22 – Susan Campbell – Navigating Social Security
President Jim Hairston announced the Rotary Theme for the month:  “Peace and Well Being”
Sunshine Report: Karen George was absent, so there was no report.  But Alan Billingsley was present, and is still recuperating from his unfortunate fall and broken ribs.  More on that below. 
The esteemed Finemaster Ed Trobaugh was missing in action, and so was his second in command Heidi Wachter.  By acclamation, the club put forth the club member who has the most recent experience in the area, Marie Barth.
Marie started it out by fining Teresa Nye $2 for being directionally challenged, during a visit to Marie's house (to which other Rotarians were not invited), and Jim Hairston for counting the points of higher elevation in the sidewalk in their housing development.  Jim was fined $2 for every hump in the sidewalk. 
[ed. note: Hump in the sidewalk?  Your editor must confess that he was confused upon hearing this at the meeting, and is still confused.  Are these humped sidewalks dromedary or bactrian?  Is the act of counting the humps in the sidewalk like counting all 4000 holes in Blackburn Lancashire, just to see how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall?  Now your editor is conjuring up the Beatles song, “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?”, where there would assuredly be more humps.]
Marie then mis-spoke in referencing General Ed by calling him General Bill [ed. note: The crowd gasped!].  As a gifted politician, Marie quickly pivoted to note that the club president had received no text, email, nor call to indicate that both finemasters were going to be absent from the meeting.  In that light, Marie led some effort to gain unanimous assent from the club concerning a fine to be imposed against the General and the City Prosecutor for being truant finemasters.  Several people voted affirmative.  Amounts and vote casters went unrecorded, to protect the innocent.
Marie then held a confession session.  Randy Black told the story of his daughter’s engagement, and asked for guidance with a sibling challenge.  The engaged daughter wants a destination wedding on a little island in Mexico, just off the coast from Cancun, while the other already-married daughter is attempting to start a family and doesn’t wish to be in the family way while wasting away in Margazikaville.  Alan Billingsley suggested a compromise, and said, “Go to New Mexico!”  Charlie Maxwell opined that Randy could just give them $500 and a ladder, and call it good.  Randy’s last comment was a request to pray for him during these troubled times. 
Marie attempted to get Tom Faubion to confess to something, anything, even offering him the chance to stand, but no confession was forthcoming.
This Week’s Program
Kelly Ingalls has worked with kids for 19 years, and now works as an outreach coordinator for The Washington Youth Academy. 
This program for troubled high school students is run by the Washington National Guard.  It is 75% funded by the DOD and 25% from state funds.  They award 165 students a season the opportunity to go through the academy at no cost to the student, even though the program’s operating cost equates to $24,000 per student.  A military organization model and uniforms are employed.  Not many students drop out.  Most go onto graduate from High School, not just a GED.  They become prospering members of the community.
KCPTV has a 10 minute video on the program.
Weekly Raffle:
$359 in the pot.  Dave Cotant won the raffle, but alas did not pull an Ace. 
And Finally…
Alan Billingsley tells us that he fell and broke a couple of ribs.  But evidently this did not stop him from performing Tai Chi in a commercial for Laughing Cow Cream Cheese.