A Visit From Our Secretary of State
President Jim Hairston once again successfully made contact between gavel and bell, and the meeting was off and running. 
Visiting Rotarians:  Barry Benson, Tacoma #8 Past President. 
Visitors:  Dick Muri (28th District State Representative), Kim Wyman, (Secretary of State) and Alice Peeples’ long-time friend Janice (whose last name was not recorded).
Sunshine report:  We need to keep Charlie Maxwell and his wife Kathie in our prayers as she undergoes chemo.  Charlie will be the one administering the chemo drugs at home, and so he may be missing some future meetings for a while.
Future Programs:
August 17 - Carolyn Cyr and Officer Ralph Rocco, Lakewood Police Behavioral Health Team
August 24 - Randy Black, Lakewood Water District
August 31 - Dr. Anthony Chen, Director of Tacoma Pierce County Health Department
Tacoma #8 Rotarian Barry Benson gave a pitch on a prospective World Community Service Committee.  The committee would focus their efforts on South and Central America.  He’s visiting all of the Tacoma area service clubs to find interested individuals to travel, be the ambassador with the “foreign” club and involved in the humanitarian projects.
If things go as they hope, this would involve:
1.  Attending a Central American Project Fair in El Salvador the last weekend of January 2017.
2.  Participation in the district Global Grant Training on 9/10/16 at McGavick Conference Center.
3.  Joining perhaps with other area clubs to sponsor a joint project with a local Rotary Club in central America.
If interested, please contact him at barrybenson@gmail.com           
Other announcements: 
Fred Willis had fresh pears!!  His pear trees have been overly abundant, and he shared the excess with Rotarians who wanted them.  The remainder went to Lakewood’s Fish Food Bank, along with some canned food donations that other Rotarians had brought to the meeting. 
Bob Lawrence gave a report on Lakewood’s Artsfest:
66 pieces of art displayed, attendance 20% above last year, they just put in an application for a 3-day event next year!  He thanked our club for our support.
Bill Harrison and Karen George arrived late, to welcoming jeers from all of the more punctual club members. 
Heidi Watcher gave her report on Courage Classic, and she was walking, IN HEELS! 
She wore Flat Paul on the back of her bike shirt while she biked the first leg, drove back for her daughter’s play in Tacoma, and then crawled into a pitched tent at 11:00 pm that her husband had set up in advance.  Some other riders thought that Flat Paul resembled President Eisenhower.  Heidi donated $150 for her portion of what she raised for Courage Classic.
Reminder of Richard King coming to town, September 10. Please buy your tickets at our club’s Home page, or directly at http://www.eventbrite.com/e/richard-king-event-tickets-26607829735?ref=ebtnebtckt
Fun and Fines:  Gen. Ed Trobaugh paid for 5 nights in Indiana and added $5 for his good fortune of not flying Delta [ed. note: Delta Airlines had a computer malfunction, in case you missed it].
Anniversaries:  Jim Hairston, 38 years, Joyce Lovejoy, 32 years
Bob Lawrence was fined for the ink of Arts Fest. The story goes, that he missed a meeting 2 years ago and became President.
Joyce Loveday had ink about The American Association of Women in Community Colleges being held at McGavick Center and she was “the” keynote speaker for the event.
John Munn:  He says he learned about tithing.  He just bought a house, needed a vacation so the raffle winning last week was a great bit of fortunate timing.  John wrote a check for $300 back to the club for Paul Harris.
John also announced the Kids Theater is re-enacting Sweeny Todd this Friday!
Joy Taylor got to enjoy Sea Fair with the Bellarmine Robotics Club, who displayed their wares to the event attendees.  [ed. note: No word whether any of the students, or Joy, mentioned Clover Park Rotary]  Fine not recorded. 
Today’s Speaker
Secretary of State Kim Wyman started her talk with a political joke about heaven and hell, and a disclaimer that she doesn’t understand what has happened in the last 6 months of this political race so she will no longer offer any predictions about on what she thinks will happen in the next 6 months.  She explained the 4 major areas under her command as Secretary of State, including being the chief vote counter, and a little known program to help victims of domestic violence by concealing their locations from their attackers. 
She also explained how the “top two” primary works for putting candidates onto the November election ballot. 
Weekly Raffle:
9 cards with 2 aces left.  Carr’s employee Scott held the winning ticket, but possessed little skill at drawing an ace. 
And Finally:
Twitter users know that Tuesday, August 16 was #NationalTellAJokeDay.  Here are some of the highlights: 
Two wi-fi antennas got married last Saturday. The reception was fantastic.
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
Why can you never trust atoms?  They make up everything!
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Feyoncé.
What if "soy milk" is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?
This morning I got an email saying, 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!', I thought, "that's just spam."
Me: "Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor: “Well don’t go to those places.”
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it's pointless.
Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For Drizzle.
Never trust a set of stairs. They're always up to something.
Who would Ella Fitzgerald be if she married Darth Vader?
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
ComicSans walks into a bar. Bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here."
Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?  Because if they had 4, they would be chicken sedans.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey.